Milked

Surviving the First Year With Our Second Baby

First an Invitation for the Mamas: A Celebration of 3-years of Mom Village on Feb 27 (my youngest son’s 1st birthday!) My intention is for this gathering to celebrate all of us, to bathe us in love, relaxation, and springtime renewal so that we can return to our lives refreshed and replenished.  I will hold this gathering once a month for the next 3 months and we can watch spring bloom from within and all around us. This will be held through Zoom, join from anywhere! For more info and to register go here.

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We have nearly survived the first year with our second baby! I keep waiting for the warmth of pride and accomplishment to flood in but so far I am only aware of deep deep exhaustion. Bone tired. I feel milked. Both literally and figuratively. The year long night torture and unquenchable sleep deprivation is starting to take its toll. Please pray to all of your gods and holy spirits for some sleep!

The first year with a baby is brutal. Maybe some people enjoy it, but as a whole I would say the first year with a baby sucks. There I said it! I’m fucking exhausted and you know what? It’s really hard to be happy when you’re not sleeping. I need sleep! Yes, the baby giggles are adorable and our fat Buddha baby breaks my heart in two and my life will never be the same, in a good way. But at the end of the day, I will be glad to be finished with this first year and I trust that life will be more fun soon. I will not miss this time, so don’t tell me I will!

Motherhood is so complicated because on the one hand I don’t want to rush and on the other hand I want to hop on the next flight to Mexico and drink coconuts on the beach and sleep for a million hours. Do I feel guilty about wanting to bail on my kids? Yes, of course I do. But then I remind myself that we all feel this way and I’m not really going to leave. I try so hard to be present with my kids, to not numb out or disappear into my phone. This is what counts, right?

I also keep telling myself that I have infinite potential to be happy. From the outside my life is really good. We have a beautiful home, in a gorgeous town, with an amazing community, and happy healthy kids. My husband and I still love each other and like each other and have really good sex. Life is good, in spite of being so exhausted that I forget to put my pants on sometimes. Do you do that?

Anyway, let’s come together and celebrate motherhood! Because what else are we going to do? Let’s step up to the plate and shout from the mountain tops that we are badass warrior priestesses and we deserve to be supported and celebrated! We also deserve some rest and to laugh at all the craziness. Are you with me?

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Hey this time if you want to play with me, go ahead and say something nice about me in the comments below. Here’s an example: “Good job surviving the first year with 2 kids! I know it’s fucking hard and you did a great job! Go Carol!!! XOXOX” You could also say something nice about yourself, because why not? Here’s an example: “I’m really great and super talented and sexy!” We’re in this together. Solidarity. Go ahead and brag!