Snow Ball
We Came, We Danced, We Conquered!
Coming Up: Hey Mamas and Mother-Lovers, this one’s for you! Mom Village, a Meditation and Sensory Awareness group for moms anywhere on the journey, is starting again Jan 23! Give the gift (to yourself and others) of deep relaxation and community. Let’s begin the year right and drop the stress of the holidays and parenting. Tell all your moms and spread the word. Now on to the story…
A few weeks ago my husband and I went on a one night getaway vacation in a snowstorm. We’d postponed our trip from the weekend before when both of our boys came down with hand/foot/mouth disease and by the time we were leaving there was a blizzard and a “winter weather warning.” Also I got my period and thought probably the universe was telling us we were fucked and should cancel our trip. Since this was our first night away together in over a year, we braved the storm.
The plan was to drive up over the pass from Montana into Idaho to go soak at these beautiful natural hot springs and go for a hike in the woods. As we began driving up the narrow windy mountain road, the snow came down harder and the roads started to feel slippery. Our adventure was starting to feel ominous. Like it might end in death. Back in the day we would have gone straight for that risky adventure but I just couldn’t stomach the idea of abandoning our boys. So much has changed as parents.
I had the idea that we could stop to rest at the cabin where we were staying near the base of the mountain, which also had a restaurant and built-up hot springs across the street. We pulled over at our funky little cabin and drove through a few feet of snow to meet the strange characters running this establishment in the middle of nowhere. We decided to stay and make the most of it, rather than risk the treacherous pass. We checked out our trashy abode and went over to the restaurant and hot springs. There were flyers all over about a “Snow Ball,” a dance contest with a “$250 cash prize” starting at 9pm that night. Normally this would be my bedtime but I love to dance and I love to win!
We enjoyed our dinner and went to the hot springs to loosen up for the big contest. We slipped into the steamy water, melting away layers of stress and jumped in the cold pool surrounded by snow and still flurrying. I just had to tell my husband that I loved him and right then 2 bald eagles flew over our heads. It felt like a sign, that we were in the right place at the right time and we were going to win! We soaked as long as we could and then headed over to the restaurant to get a cocktail before our big dance off.
The music was blasting with a disco ball and bright lights flashing everywhere, even though the dance floor was pretty empty with only one other couple dancing. They may have had more technical training than us, but they were stiff and we were very enthusiastic. My husband leaned in and whispered, “Unless Danny Zuko and Cha Cha DiGregorio show up, we’ve got this in the bag!” We danced with soul. We danced with passion. We danced with love and abandon. We danced our asses off! After about an hour, I was getting pretty tired and we asked the DJ about the contest. He said he wasn’t sure and we should ask the waitress. She said that the contest may have been cancelled because no one showed up but that we were clearly the best dancers. She told us to come back in the morning and find the manager.
We went back to our tiny shed and fell asleep happily in our squeaky bed. It felt like heaven to sleep through the night with no baby to wake us up. Even though one of my boobs got crazy engorged and I woke up in pain, needing to pump milk immediately; It was totally worth it. We packed up our stuff and headed over to breakfast and to meet our destiny. After a hearty meal we asked for the manager and said we would like to discuss the Snow Ball. A sheepish rotund man came out from the back room. We told him that we had danced our hearts out and were told that we were the best dancers and that we had earned the cash prize.
I explained that ordinarily I would have gone to bed but for $250 I had stayed up late to dance and to win. My husband told him that either way we were going home with a story that we had won a dance contest and it was up to this man how the story ended. I also said we would tell all our friends and could fill his dance floor with other broke parents like us who would happily dance for a cash prize, if in fact there actually was one. We charmed the shit out of this man and he came back with an envelope! We were elated. I said, “It’s just like Pulp Fiction!”
For this short time my husband and I felt like our old selves again. The ones before kids who believed in serendipity and magic. We felt free, fun, and relaxed. We felt charming and beautiful. We felt like winners! We wondered how long we could ride this glow once we got back to our children. It lasted 2 days and then we felt burnt out and defeated by the world again. Funny how that goes.
As we gear up for the holidays I’m struck by the overwhelming buzz in the air and the strange sense of stress masked in excitement that I feel everywhere. Normally I love the holidays but this year I’m exhausted and wish we could just skip to January and not have to worry about presents, parties, extravagant food, and pressure to be joyful when really I just want a nap. I’m trying to remember that feeling when the 2 bald eagles flew over our heads. The feeling of love, of freedom. The wonder of my body being submerged in a cold outdoor pool as sparkly snow flakes fell all around from the dark sky. I can close my eyes and embody that sense of peace, of pleasure.
This year all I really want for the holidays is to sleep through the night. I want my sons to be calm and quiet, at least some of the time. I want to feel in love and alive with my husband. We made out in the hot springs and flirted the whole trip but didn’t make love until we got home to our own bed that doesn’t squeak or have bed bugs. It was really fun to feel sensual and yummy with him and to tease him, feeling the pleasure of anticipation. That’s what I want for the holidays. Oh and universal health care and child care. But that’s it! I don’t need any presents. Just sleep and for our systems to catch up to support modern families. Is that too much to ask?
Happy Holidays everyone!
Hey Mamas, this one’s for you! Let’s begin the year right with meditation and Sensory Awareness to drop all the stress of the holidays and parenting, to relax deeply in community, to practice tools that regulate our nervous systems and help us feel resourced and resilient. Who’s with me?!
